Tag: humor

…On the Evils of Spandex

They hit me again yesterday: ALL THE REASONS I HATE SPANDEX. Usually, my hatred for Spandex (Lycra, elastane) is reserved for those rare moments when I darken the doorway of a gym. There does not exist a single item of workout clothing that does not contain Spandex, and the […]

Blame It All on the Sunrise

How to photograph the perfect sunrise and still manage to ruin your day: Lock your spare house key inside house. Go to driveway and start your car with keyless entry fob. Decide sunrise is too pretty to let pass undocumented. Get out of car to photograph sunrise with iPhone, keys […]

My Inner Comedienne’s Death by Budget

I find my Inner Comedienne laid out in mortuary fashion atop my toothbrush, holding a sad plastic lily in her hands. Each of her closed eyelids is painted with a comedic “x”, by which I deduce she is either sleeping or dead. It’s late, and, to be quite honest, I haven’t seen her […]

The Cold Side of the Pillow

I wake to find HH firmly buried under his pillow. Before you ask, I must assure you I did NOT place it over his face, on account of him being worth much more to me alive than dead. “Babe,” I ask, “you ok?” He mutters something unintelligible, but […]