humor

Rabbits Can Be Real Jerks…

thumper & appleNobody ever accused me of not giving others a fair chance to prove themselves.

Oh, that’s not to say I’ve not been burned a time or two (or a million), but I generally like to give people the benefit of the doubt before passing judgment. Maybe it’s an asset, maybe a character flaw – the jury is divided.

HH, who is a control freak naturally cautious of everyone, figures I need to adjust my methods, as outlined below.

Current formula:
COMPLETE TRUST + REASON FOR DISTRUST x ? = ACTUAL DISTRUST.
(Probably.)
HH’s proposed formula:
DISTRUST x 2 YEARS + TANGIBLE EVIDENCE OF RELIABILITY x 2 YEARS = EVENTUAL TRUST.
(Maybe.)

It can be argued that HH’s method, while a little scary in the early days for new acquaintances, has proven pretty successful. He has managed to safely eliminate any possibility of disappointment before granting anyone that greatest of all rewards,

THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

Whatever.

At any rate, naive trusting me, in the throes of one of my bleeding heart moments, decided that expanding the rabbit run in the front garden was just what I needed to do this morning. Poor bunnies, I thought – such a SMALL cage… so few toys… (there are about a hundred chewies, bells, balls with rattles, baskets of alfalfa, a pair of tunnels, one of which is edible, and a snuggle box full of  hay and with a bowl of pellets, fresh water, and a newly dried ear of corn ready for nibbling…)

It should be more than evident, given the above information, that my bunnies are seriously deprived, poor things.

No sooner did I put Thumper and Apple in their newly expanded run than the little so-and-sos decided to make yet another prison break. I had not counted on them playing velociraptor and testing the wire for weaknesses… but in the space of fifteen minutes, the clearly untrustworthy lagomorphs escaped! I’ve tried every trick in the book to recapture them, but they are as wiley as they are adorable.

HH has never for a moment trusted the bunnies with any degree of freedom, be that kitchen, sofa or cage. That’s because he’s a control freak smart.

Argh! I hate it when he’s right. And, for the record, rabbits can be real jerks sometimes!

Let’s see how a night under a rain-soaked hedge suits them…

Mother Hen

Feature Photo: Don’t be fooled by their sweet looks, my friends. These bunnies are pure evil! 🙂

© motherhendiaries 2015, all rights reserved.

Categories: humor, pets

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18 replies »

  1. I used to have a bunny problem. I was told no one would believe my companion when I write is a 6′ invisible bunny named Harvey. So for credibility I was given a giant seahorse named Jerome. There are trust issues with the seahorse I didn’t have with the bunny.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I snickered and guffawed aloud while reading your post. Oh, not at your misfortune m’dear, but at the thought of rabbits being rabbits wherever they are in the world. Just yesterday, I watched with fascination, as my neighbour, weilding a sledgehammer was securing the corners of the huge pen his rabbits are kept in. All the while, out of the far corner, they were hopping one at a time, pausing momentarily to look up at him before following the leader to sweet freedom. You have only two to corral back in…he has eight. I pity the man. Yours will be home shortly I’m sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pahaha! Apple has already returned to her run. All we had to do was throw a piece of … ahem … apple! inside the run, and she was in. Like most of us gals, she is mighty food driven. Thumper, on the other hand, continues to elude. He and his svelte male waistline are happy to nibble on weeds rather than approach the hand that feeds them. And pets them. And empties their litter tray. And sweeps the bunny pellets out of their run. And tops up their hay. And …. (you get the picture!) Yep. Jerks.;-D

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