To Sleep, Perchance to Dream…

shutterstock_219428317Gaaaaaaa! One more day slogging through the molasses of a sleep deprived Twilight Zone that is my “New Reality”.

This morning I was up at 3 a.m. and intermittently for the remainder of the night. What sleep I did manage to catch was disturbed by weird dreams interlaced with thoughts of a blessedly cold washcloth and the arctic draft of my bedside fan, the icy cast iron curls of the bed frame, and an unbearable heat preserved in my memory foam grave. Ay, there’s the rub…

Going to sleep is easy. (Actually, I could fall asleep right now.) But governing my core temperature long enough to stay asleep is clearly beyond my control.  7stages

I am, by all accounts, a human train wreck at present. Between the panic attacks and unexplained adrenaline rushes that hit me up side the head at wildly random moments throughout the day and night, I feel like bulldozing this wreck off the tracks altogether and tossing her onto the scrap heap, actually. Where all awful train wrecks go to die. Melt her down. Recycle. Circle of life…

But bones and joints and heart and lungs have this uncanny ability to thrive in spite of themselves, even if the brain is continually out to lunch. Weird, right? I breathe in, I breathe out. I am derailed, but my boiler is still steaming away and the wheels continue to turn. minniepauz

Breakfast was half a pack of mini Rolo and a cup of Joe. At least I think it was – I might well have been dreaming. In any case, I don’t feel hungry now, and my mouth tastes of chocolate, so I think my memory is reliable on this count, if on no other.

ripheadoffHave I taken my blood pressure meds? I can’t remember. Maybe.

On the upside, I am just mad enough at this point to realize I need to see the doctor about HRT, and so have booked an appointment for next Tuesday. Sage, Soya, Menopace, Evening Primrose, Cod Liver Oil, Multivitamins, Magnesium, sweet potatoes, yams… all this has given me possibly the most expensive wee in three counties, but has had little if any effect on my nightly drama. Who would have thought my estrogen levels were so high that I am crumbling in their absence?

Call me a quitter if you like – I don’t mind, really. But this “going the natural route” and “embracing the change” business is for the birds. Well, not for THIS bird, actually. I say bring on the drugs, man, and STAT. This Mother Hen was not born to be a martyr. 

Happy Wednesday, all! (It is Wednesday, isn’t it?) I will be back on track soon!

Mother Hen

© motherhendiaries 2014 all rights reserved


  • feature photo: shutterstock
  • 7 stages of menopause:
  • hot and bothered:
  • hormones calling:
  • laugh till you leak:

Categories: humor, life

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46 replies »

    • Hahaha! She cracked me up too… I have a few more I might throw at you all later on. One thing about this hideous change – it provides almost endless fodder for humour. Unless I wear all my friends out with my moaning and groaning. 🙂 xx MH

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Not to give too many ideas, but we have to pool our healing resources here! I’m getting B Complex Shots (yes, in the butt) from my naturopath as part of my treatment for chronic fatigue (see my post Projecteasier/chronicfatigue/). I can’t stomach the B complex pills well either (can you say nausea?). Maybe try to see if you can get a shot of B complex every couple of weeks. Some regular docs will do this or maybe a naturopath. I’m not against HRT though, it has helped so many friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unfortunately I don’t have anything positive to add because I absolutely hate menopause. I am tired of people telling me to ’embrace this time’ in my life when I’d much rather scream and shout and tear out my hair in frustration. I will however tackle my GP on the B-Complex shots – there may be hope!


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